I know I'm not the first person to plan their son's Bar Mitzvah but I've decided I need an outlet to write about it and, for the first time, I don't want to do that privately. Since my son somehow got his mind wrapped around this idea of a REALLY big Bar Mitzvah (from his cousin's a few years ago - ignoring the fact that my sister has a lot more money than we do) here are the really stupid things I'm giving him:
being danced around on a chair
all of his friends
What I won't give in on - that stupid candle-lighting ceremoney - is this Jewish? We decided we'd set up a few candles only to remember family members who aren't there to celebrate the joyous event with us and because in Judaism it's always important to temper joy with sorrow (such as smashing the glass at the wedding.) No videographer running around making everyone hold the mike and gush to my son. No "this is your life" photo montage playing endlessly on a monitor in the room.
My son and I agree on no theme for the party that has nothing to do with being Jewish, and the colors of the Israeli flag for the tables.
But it's like holding back a tidal wave. The other day we got a "save the date" for one of his friends and it was a snow globe with the girl's picture in it.
This is not going to be the biggest thing that happens to my son in his life. When he gets to the chuppah, we'll talk.