Friday, February 5, 2010

My Seventeenth Anniversary Gift: The Super Bowl

There was this thing just nagging at my brain, something I just couldn't figure out. What was it that was bugging me? I knew it was something important.

There was Husband's hubub - his fury of preparation for the Super Bowl this weekend. How he's been working a lot of weekends in preparation for absolutely, positively having this Sunday off. There's been the usual countdown to the game, the other teams falling away, the kids and him enrapt in each game in our family room while I write in my office.

But something was bugging me. Then I realized what it was: our seventeenth wedding anniversary falls on SuperBowl Sunday.

Being married to whom I am married to, was there even a chance in the world that we were going to go out on Sunday? All of his machinations, all the scheduling and rescheduling, the elaborate dancing about on the calendar - had he even noticed? How big of a shrew would I be exactly to bring this up?

This is what I remember. It was 1992. Husband and I were Very Seriously dating. We were actually in love, which was pretty amazing because I had plunged off the cliff of leaving my first marriage in 1989 not knowing if anyone would ever love me again except for my ex-husband who assured me, as I was leaving, that no one ever would. And then, in 1991, I met Husband, and, by 1992, love indeed. We went shopping for rings. I even kind of designed my ring. Then he went down there and picked up the ring. And then? Nothing happened.

I don't know what he was waiting for. The ring was in the house, I was in the house, but the ring was not on my finger.

Finally, I just picked up the phone and scheduled a fancy dinner out for us at a nice restaurant in North Scottsdale. That seemed to jog his brain into some activity. He brought along the ring and proposed. If I had left it completely up to him, I'm sure seventeen years later I'd still be sitting on his ratty old couch in his ratty old house in Tempe, rolling my eyes and waiting to get that ring because Husband can't actually coordinate anything. Except, apparently, for the Super Bowl. That he can schedule.

So I'm going to have mercy on him. I'll plan our dinner out - on Saturday night, the day before our anniversary. And then on Sunday, my gift to him:  I will sit down like a proper wife and I will stay there, next to him, glued to my seat, watching the Super Bowl.

Any excruciating proposal or engagement stories? Any conflicting special days?


  1. First thought: ex-husband is a fucker.

    Second thought: at least he didn't propose after you'd just had marathon sex. Yep. Mine did. Cringe!

  2. Entertaining story. Be sure to stock up on the junk food for Sunday. Tie a ribbon around the 6-pack. (Whichever one you choose.)

  3. I definitely know about conflicting special days: a Catholic girl with a Christmas Eve birthday who chose to get married on New Year's Day. (Incidentally, Husband's birthday often falls on Super Bowl Sunday.)

    Happy anniversary! Go Saints! (Actually, I don't care at all who wins...I just thought I'd throw a little love to New Orleans.)

  4. TKW, You're right on the mark about ex-husband. He also said I wasn't smart enough to go to grad school. Guess what? Got my master's 5 years ago, with distinction! And, I guess you must have an edited version of your proposal to tell the kids!

  5. BLW, ha ha. Husband has recently blimped up with his version of a weight problem (4 lbs) so no 6 pack. It'll have to be the beer.

  6. Kristen, you are the holiday conflict queen! I do love the anniversary on New Year's Day. That's so metaphorical, new beginning-ish! And I'm for poor, downtrodden, soaked, post-Katrina, New Orleans too!

  7. So, you must have commented on my blog as I was publishing my most recent post. Hah!

    I have been pregnant my last two birthdays and anniversaries. Nothing like a celebration killer than morning (all day) sickness. Yeah, throwing up and a nice dinner don't mesh well.

    Here's to a birthday/anniversary without morning sickness!

  8. I think that is a lovely anniversary gift. Sacrifice and flexibility are the best gifts ever. With my husband's profession, we are not a strict celebrate on the actual day family. As long as we're in the right month, we're all good.

    My husband proposed the day before Thanksgiving, which was lovely as we could tell all the family the next day. He did buy my ring with money he got selling his blood plasma (poor college students) so that was fun.

  9. I love this... Genuine affection laced with compromise. Happy anniversary! I hope you have a wonderful dinner out and a fantastic Super Bowl Sunday. My engagement story was pretty sweet and simple -

    I love that it took you a bit of effort to remember your anniversary. That is real. That is life. (That is ME.)

    Great post.

  10. lol, at how you scheduled your proposal.
    I knew my husband three months before he turned to me one day and said "So, when do you want to get married?"
    I said "Whenever you want.'
    So we pulled into a pawn shop and picked out a ring.
    Two months later we were married..
    It will be our 17th anniversary in May.
    It's a good thing I am more pragmatic than romantic.
    Looks like you are too.
    Glad you didn't go all joan crawford on him.
    I have to put up with some strange stuff from my hubby as well, but he's a good egg.

  11. I love the gift you are giving your husband - understanding is worth more than all the gold in the world I think. I should probably try it sometime, lol.

    My engagement story is BORING. We lived together for a couple of years, we were committed, and I was super-ready to get married. So I told him we were getting married sometime in 1999, he could decide when. I went and bought a dress and a couple weeks later he bought me a ring and proposed in our living room. He said I ruined any chance of a romantic proposal by buying the dress first!! Still, we've been happily married just over 10 years, so it's all good by me.

  12. Amber, no possible chance of morning sickness for me on my anniversary! Hot flashes maybe...

  13. Charlotte, talk about sacrifice! He sold his plasma to buy your ring! Now we're talking! And funny, about as long as you get the month right. Really, I realized a long time ago, they're just days like any others - New Year's, other holidays. We just load them up with meaning.

  14. Aidan, I totally read your engagement story - how can I forget the hilarious post about having met in a bar? :) And the dinner out was perfection! And today? The Super Bowl...

  15. Chris, we were both married in 1993! And lucky you to have found the right guy sooner rather than later, like me. I love that it was just a given that you were right together and you were matter of fact about it. Great story!

  16. Laurie, Thanks for visiting my blog! I will pop by yours as well! And how funny about the dress. I totally understand. You find a dress, you have to buy the dress, right?

  17. Ha! My husband did the same damn thing with my ring. Went to pick it up, I knew he had it, and then...nothing. I sat and waited and tried to be patient and guess what? I'm horrible at being patient and letting people take...their...time. Yeah, yeah, I'm working on it! So we went to dinner and he STILL didn't say anything. Finally I just said, "You got the ring, right?" And that was that. I'm still kinda upset about it to this day! No wedding proposal. No "Yes, I'll marry you." No, "I want you to be mind forever, won't you be mine?" Nope. Just another reminder that my life is NOTHING LIKE A ROMANTIC COMEDY. Sigh.

  18. Thanks for sharing, I will bookmark and be back again

    Anniversary Gifts for Husband