Purse of Shame

Well, I've really been dragging my feet ever since Maria of Mother of Three Seeks Sanity tagged me on What's In Your Bag. I guess I didn't want to admit that I'm stupid enough to carry a purse that costs as much as a small Caribbean island. Nor did I want to admit that I'm stupid enough to carry a purse that one of my children could actually hop inside if they need to, but that by itself can easily dislocate my shoulder. But here I am, finally, shame-faced, with my purse, the Louis Vuitton Galleria Bag, which I love.

I think I've written before about my little teensy, weensy shopaholic problem, right? Also, about how, being raised by the Holocaust Survivor immigrants, who wouldn't pay for anything but food or shelter, I then ended up, after my dad's death, a member of probably the only Jewish family in Scottsdale receiving food stamps?  These things have quite an impact on the heart of a girl. Once I had a little bit of money, I always had a decent purse, and a matching wallet and planner. And eyeglass case. And key chain. And then another purse when I got sick of the first purse. (About this time, people start feeling really sorry for Husband. I know.) 

Now for the inside. Here's what came out when I dumped it:

Really. This is the purse you don't go into without a flashlight. The purse you venture near in fear of coming out alive. Will your hand get bitten off by an animal that crawled in by mistake and has now built a nest in its interior? Could there be a family of vagrants in there? Can it double as a flotation device? Or is it like Mary Poppins' purse - will I one day pull out a lamp from there?

Anyway, that's the accumulated paper from several weeks of lists I lost (there they are!) and receipts for restaurants or returns or whatever shopaholics do when they're avoiding writing.

Then I cleaned up all the garbage and came up with this:

1) Yes, not only am I big enough idiot to spend top dollar for a Louis Vuitton purse, but I've also spent top dollar for the matching accessories - wallet, checkbook, eyeglass case and keychain (and agenda - not shown)- but, hey, I only had to buy them once. You should have seen me when I carried Dooney & Bourke back in the duck days - I had to buy everything in each color.

2) Two Jazzercise membership cards for my two locations. 

3) My little pal, the BlackBerry, which has enslaved me to its blinking light.

4) My mini Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous because I'm a twelve-stepper for my weight. Obviously not a twelve-stepper for my shopping yet! One addiction at a time, right?

5) Weight Watchers Point Calculator because even in my program you have to have a food plan and mine is WW points and has been for 10 years.

6) Lactase for lactose intolerance in clear containeer, inhaler for asthma, some headache pills in blue container for husband. (I know, he should carry his own purse.)

7) Floss sticks, lipstick, mirror, hair ties, tissues and manicure kit. None of which I can ever find.

8) Husband's reading glasses (should I get him his own Louis Vuitton eyeglass case?)

9) Back up house and car keys because I'm stupid enough to have locked myself out of my house before but neurotic enough to immediately be able to whip out the backup keys and get back in.

10) Missing: my notebook. I wrote down a great idea for a story, brought it into my office and forgot to put it back.

Also missing: all of our money.

I'll pass the fun (and humiliation) along to these friends:

TKW from The Kitchen Witch,

Terry from The First Day of the Rest of My Life,

Amber of Making the Moments Count,

BLW from Big Little Wolf's Daily Plate of Crazy (tell me your bag's French, Wolfie!), and to

Ellen at Weighting Around. 

Are you a "purse person?" Do you need everything to match? Do you spend too much on one particular item in your wardrobe and then nearly nothing on the rest? What's hiding in your bag?