The other day we were all walking down one of the quaint downtown streets of Flagstaff on our vacation - me, Husband, Daughter and Bar Mitzvahzilla. We were all pretty normal looking. That is, with the exception of Bar Mitzvahzilla. We'd made the mistake of buying him some sunglasses earlier that day and were paying the price right then. He loped along, supercool. Shades blocking his baby blues. His body built up from a summer of football training. A swagger in his step. My boy, somehow a tough cool guy. The kind of guy I would have hated in high school.
Yet one day earlier - same vacation - we were at the hotel swimming pool and he was ready to go swimming with Daughter. He sat there next to me wracked with indecision. Should he take off his shirt? Swim with his chest showing? What about those teenage girls who were frolicking in the hot tub? Was anybody watching him? I glared at him. Aren't girls supposed to be the ones who drive you nuts? My boy, somehow as insecure as a, well, teenage girl. The kind of guy I would have liked in high school.
Then another night we all went down for an evening dip in the Jacuzzi and there I ran into my third Bar Mitzvahzilla of the vacation.
First he frolicked with Daughter in the Jacuzzi and then in the swimming pool, playing like a seal or a porpoise, I don't know. I swear he would've balanced a ball on his nose if we'd had one. He was doing acrobatics, swim racing, and then, when we got back to the room, they staged a "death by arrow" video using the arrow Daughter had bought on the reservation nearby. The kind of boy I would have liked - in grade school.
My three sons, all contained in one fourteen-year-old boy, for one last fleeting moment before they all disappear or coalesce into one. Into the man he'll turn out to be.
Did you ever catch your kids just on the cusp between one age and another? Kid to tween, adolescent to teen? Teen to adult? Where there are flashes of the kid he or she was and the person he or she will be at the same time?
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That age is so... intense :) he sounds like such a changing, developing, kid/teen! Reading this makes me smile, and a little twitchy thinking about my kids getting to that age one day!! Thanks for linking up Linds!
ReplyDeleteI am very struck now with my 20 year old son growing up. And how he still calls or texts home for the silliest things. Yet he is thinking of driving his car alone halfway across the country next month. He is definitely on the cusp. And my feelings about it are very mixed.
ReplyDeleteOh my God, I can't tell you how much I love this! I went through so many similar moments with Awesome Stepkid R. He'd chase Miss D. around the house with a Nerf gun one moment, and then refuse to sit with us at the movies the next. Awkward, indeed.
ReplyDeleteI am beginning to see glimpses of Matthew as he gets older, and even Andrew. Thank you for painting a picture I am looking forward to seeing in my own home.
ReplyDeleteMy three sons, with three versions each: that's a whole lot of testosterone! Yikes!
I feel the same way about my daughter. She phases in and out of teenager, old soul, and still a kid. It is dizzying at times!
ReplyDeleteHow delightful, Linda! And how this struck a chord. It's bittersweet (and very entertaining) to see our children on the cusp of maturing - really maturing.
ReplyDeleteI am past this with my elder teen, but still in it with my younger. It catches me off-guard, both the child-like insecurities when I least expect, and the signs of self-confidence and responsibility, that increasingly own the show.
But the baby face! It's still there! (And I'm glad, even if he isn't.)
Loved this!
I just love this. I can see him like he's standing in front of me :-). My daughter and all her friends are going through the same thing. These boys I've known for so many years.... Are they little boy today? Are they "athlete guy"? Are they gracious mentor to my little guys.... So sweet.... really.
ReplyDeleteAs always ~ loved this post. When I got to the bottom and saw that you were linking into a theme, I admired it even more. Theme writing is a challenge. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI used your song Airplanes in my last post (Shooting Stars). You were right... Loved It! You are a very wise woman. Bar Mitzvahzilla and Daughter will appreciate that one day. It will probably be about ten years from now before they fully appreciate it, but they will appreciate it. At that time, they will wonder how they didn't see your "coolness" when they were teenagers. It will be the great unsolved mystery of their teenage years.
Oh, this was wonderful! I'm still in the baby/toddler/preschooler phase, but there are cusps all over the place here, too!
ReplyDeleteI am at once excited to see what my kids are like as little almost-adults, and anxious to keep them my innocent babies forever. But one of those options is an impossibility, so I'll try to embrace the other wholeheartedly!
Thanks so much for linking up!
This is very well-written! I love it! Ahh.. teenage boys... caught between manhood and childhood. I think it's adorable and I'm taken back to my own 14-year-old days when I would watch with disgust as the guy that I thought was super cool ( I liked the shy, awkward ones too, but they were cool to me) turn into a child and start giggling and playing like a little boy and then back into a teenager trying to be cool for the girls.
ReplyDeleteMe, I still have a giggly, silly little boy.
And a thirty-seven-year-old man-child.
Do they ever COMPLETELY grow up?
A very emotionally intense age for any child, all those hormones beginning to rage and more and yet, I think you will continue throughout his life to see glimpses of every stage that has gone before in your son. Even as adult, we are still those children we once were inside.
ReplyDeleteCorinne, thanks for running this wonderful meme! And somehow, as I was thinking about it, it occurred to me that so much of the writing I do about my kids is all part of a bigger picture!
ReplyDeleteOh this is so true. I think I feel like this about my kids several times a week and sometimes a day. I do that too, think of whether my kid is someone I would've liked when I was a kid. And they do this to us too, but probably far more harshly.
ReplyDeleteAs a mother of 3 sons now 23,21, and 18 ... I LOVED this post! I know exactly what you are talking about!!!
ReplyDeleteI do not have teens but I do catch glimpses of my kids's future. I see what my daughter will be as I watch her hug her brother. I see that my son will probably always be serious. Breathtaking indeed.
ReplyDeleteAre you kidding? This is my life searching for those little girls who used to dance around the living room in flouncy slips, Kelly (18) wearing a shirt on her head pretending it was long thick hair. Now that Molly and Kelly are 21 and 18, respectively, I beg those girls to come out and play. Sometimes they do. But I'm learning to appreciate, like you, the now. I'm so proud of the women they are turning out to be.
ReplyDeleteI love this! Something I am kind of experiencing right now, but not at its full force yet! One second he's like a 7 year old, the next, he's like a 19 year old (Jerk!) and then he's like a 37 year old. Like you, I thought only teenage girls are supposed to be that mercurial! (NOW, no flaming for my "sexist" remark! I heard that from many many parents with teen girls! They said I was lucky to only have boys...)
ReplyDeleteSigh....I love the way you write! I can so picture this in my mind. I have a girl, who is grown now, but I remember some of the same things.They grow up so fast, and as much as we want to stop time, it is so awesome to see them grow into adults.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post, Linda! I love how you describe Bar Mitzahzilla and the changes he is going through. It is particularly interesting the way we as parents are able to step back as our children grow up and see them as people and not just our children. To think about how your younger self would have percieved this boy/young man is an amazing thing, no?
ReplyDelete