Monday, June 7, 2010

Tween Sophisticate

There are some differences between my children, not just the obvious ones like one's a boy and one's a girl; one's fourteen and one's ten. There are the communication differences.

Daughter is complexly sophisticated. It started off small, like with the telephone. Like in that she could actually get on the telephone and talk. Unlike Bar Mitzvahzilla who could only get on the phone and say a series of linked together "Uhs." One time one of Husband's sisters called from out of town and asked to speak to Daughter. I handed the phone to her, and, half a bubbly, anecdote-laden hour later, she handed the phone back. She was five.

Lately, though, she's getting into technology. It started with Skype. All the kids at school were going on Skype so that the minute they'd get home from seeing each other all day then they could sit there watching each other all night, typing at their keyboards. Turns out we don't have a webcam, though, so we watched her little friend talking. I saw the parents in the background cleaning the kitchen, the whole house in a panoramic view, and I thought, no way is my house, or the people in it, ready for a viewing audience, like the bickering parents, the food police husband, the surly teenager, dirty dishes. Even if we had a webcam I'd hide it.

So she types her Skyped responses to her friends, but sometimes they all want to pretend that they're all really good typers so they type like this: yiourejhdhiutaryenbj.nm,zhjkjdyfilerhjhjlda. She's having a great time, laughing with headphones on, monopolizing our phone line, and typing gibberish.

Her newest thing? What could it be? What's she seen her mother doing day and night, night and day and scorned every single time I did it? A blog. Of course, it was never interesting if I was doing it. But now that one of her good friends is doing it, it's very, very interesting. So now they're all doing it. A gang of 10-year-old nearly fifth graders out loose in the blogosphere. And I'm following her. And, even worse, she's following me.

And I do want to say that suddenly I'm very, very useful. Make a blogroll? Sure. Change your fonts and colors? I'm your gal. Add a link, a picture, a video? Once scorned, now the recipient of grudging respect.


Am I worried about addiction? Remember, I already have one computer addict in the family. Bar Mitzvahzilla's already had all of his stuff surgically removed for summer and is unhappy about it. The reason I'm not worried? Daughter uses technology to increase her communication with the outside world; Bar Mitzvahzilla uses his to isolate. Big difference.

At this point, I think she'll have taken over the world by age fifteen.

Are you ever amazed at your kids just leaping ahead on technology? Or adopting technology that you're on and suddenly finding a use for you? How about when they go from being just kids to being part of this larger world?

27 comments:

  1. My boys are both more tech savvy than I am. But neither blogs:) My oldest signed us up for Skype before he left for college and it is great to see him while he is away. I admit I worry a bit about both of them being exposed on the internet. I nag and remind and just hope they are not putting things out there that they will regret some day.

    Oh - I also told my teen that he has to unprivatize his facebook page when he goes to college so I can see what he is up to... if he wants me to send care packages and mail. Bribery.

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  2. All my kids are more tech savvy than I. No bloggers tho because, as they put it, they have a life. I think it's so cute your daughter is blogging! My daughter has a friend visiting from England and she keeps in touch with her British friends and family via Skype. Very cool.

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  3. My husband and I both use technology quite a bit - excessively in his case since he is a web designer, and.... well - I guess me too in that I blog - most of my freelance writing work is from long distances - I skype, FB, text, etc. all my distance friends.... Anyway, my oldest really relies on technology to keep her in the social loop. This year, she and her friends graduated from middle school and will be scattering to separate high schools, and I'm sure that's how they'll stay in touch. In fact, some girls that she knew way back in grade school - at this all girls school, out of state - have contacted her via FB, and they are, happily back in touch! I love it.

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  4. no way is my house, or the people in it, ready for a viewing audience

    My mom wants to skype and have the webcam on me while she does it, but do I need a fisheye lens broadcasting the makeupless, dirty haired, bags under the eyes,, blotchy skin me to her or anyone else?

    No.

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  5. Laughed and laughed about your comments on web cam and the non-viewing of your house. Right on!

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  6. Great post! Oh the divide between boys and girls, men and women. Most females like to talk and most males do not, once they get to a certain age anyway. We have skype as it is a wonderful way to keep in touch with family around the world and it is free, so saves a fortune in phone calls and allows my daughter and I to actually "see" Grandma and Granddad. Our camera is built into the screen of the desktop which sits in our study so only that room can be viewed - might be a way to limit viewing of your home for your daughter. I think it is wonderful that she is now doing a blog - as you say, she is doing it to communicate and in doing so will learn so much about technology PLUS you are now her blogging guru :-)

    So now I am thinking that blogging will be a good thing for me as my daughter gets older as hopefully I will not get totally left behind now on the technology front!

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  7. Every single aspect of technology beyond the main (-frame computer, that is), like the wireless router, helping me establish a music library so I can iPod with the best of 'em, etc. ad nauseum, has been achieved or taught by one of our sons. They are so tech savvy that I wonder if they came into being via high speed modem rather than from my loins.

    I love your observations of the differences between your kids. Those of us blessed with both genders of spawnage are nodding and smiling. If your daughter writes like you, she'll have a slew of followers on her blog before the end of summer. And kudos on the parenting move with B'zilla...I'm a big believer in mean parenting!

    Thank you so much for the comment to my post yesterday - and your own thoughts about death and how we leave this realm. Beautiful, and very comforting. You're on my daily read list now.

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  8. Great post! Husband and I were just watching It's Complicated last night and Meryl Streep and Steve Martin were doing a video chat session and I suddenly realized (because my daughter is still too small for this and my son is, well, a boy like you mentioned and isn't interested in anything but video games) that THIS is the way kids now communicate after school. Whereas I used to come home and immediately get on the phone and talk about nothing and giggle and play games and my mother would say, " You JUST saw her for seven hours at school. What more could you possibly talk about?" And now, they video chat. It was a total eye-opener to me. Wow.

    I finally finished my Plastic Joy fictional lusties post. I included Doogie Howser, M.D.and was horrified at how nerdy he looked as a teen- because I sure thought he was hot then.

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  9. HA! I can't believe she started a blog! Hehee Please share more about how Barmitzvahzilla is handling is new found, um, independence.

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  10. She's following you? How awesome is that? How terrible is that? Welcome to the land of censoring yourself. You can now reflect fondly on the good old days when you could say anything that you were thinking and you were speaking strictly to strangers. It's why I blog just about daily here and I only occasionally on facebook. On there what I say might get back to my ex so I have to be very careful. Here... anything goes!

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  11. Oh god, I hope my kids never follow me! EEK!!

    That said, I think it's wonderful that she's so tech-forward that she wants to start a blog! That's impressive.

    Both my girls will have me beat, tech-wise, in no time at all.

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  12. One question: is your daughter in your blogroll? :)

    I think (I hope!) I still have a few more years left before my boys become more tech savvy than I am, although both already have a penchant for things with buttons that light up so it's really only a matter of time.

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  13. I love the pictures you paint. Isn't if funny watching a boy try and talk on the phone.


    And the difference between isolation and communication is so key.

    Your family sounds wonderful.

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  14. It is almost as though they learned about technology from the womb...Scary, at times.

    Yet, this Mama loves to get her techy geek on...the apple does not fall far from the tree, I suppose.

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  15. I could not figure out Excel(pathetic), to make a spead sheet, so I asked my 10 year old. She off course, ran me through it. In the end she did my homework for me. I thought it was awesome, my kid doing my homework for me. I had been running some home improvement projects on a budget, so I was trying to be proper and show off, and show my husband my spreadsheet rather than have him ask me, (what was that for? Plumbing really costs what) a zillion questions. I would have it all written out. Needless to say, he was impressed and 10yo learned how to manage a budget, and I looked good in my spreadsheet. Win Win all around.

    I love the story of your kids. Nice blog

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  16. Sounds like your Daughter has good sense about technology, unlike me who spends hours writing my blog, commenting on other blogs, and ignoring the dust on the tables. Both my girls are Skyping, FaceBooking and showing me how to tag someone, and texting at the speed of light (while I hen peck the keyboard on my phone until one of the girls grabs my phone, and says, "Let me do it."). I guess I worry about our kids having real conversations that matter. With all this access to words via the computer, are we missing out on face to face time?

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  17. My 15 year old uses technology for everything. Sending Faceboook inboxes, texting or Facebooking for help from friends and classmates. webchats for planning BBYO events.

    My son can make a Powerpoint slideshow...I have no clue! His twin sister is not as interested as her siblings...ah, my girl!

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  18. Wow. It's amazing how young kids are getting into these technologies. Pre-teens with blogs?! Fascinating and frightening at the same time.

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  19. My oldest 4 all have blogs, but rarely post. I'm hoping to encourage it this summer as I think it is great writing practice. My kids spend hours on photoshop and power point. They don't chat or skype yet, though, and none of them are good phone talkers. I sometimes have to bribe them to say hello to their dad when he is out of town.

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  20. This is hysterical. I especially love aoiajalaadfvhaerfjef !!! (Maybe it's code?)

    Now I realize I'd better hide the web cam, too. Far worse than dirty dishes 'round these parts. (And both my kids have long been more techno-savvy than moi. It's soooooooo annoying.)

    The part I REALLY don't get? How their much bigger fingers manage on teeny tiny cell phone keys.

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  21. My daughter's already figured out our very complicated remote control (she's in preschool). I think it's only a matter of time before she's blogging with her pre-K crowd...

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  22. HERE'S TO YOU THURSDAY has come round again and knocked on your door. Hope you drop in and answer the call. Enjoy.

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  23. I too have two kids with two very different levels of tech savvy. I could relate to the monosyllabic phone conversations with certain relatives as well. Yet both my kids are always surprising me (within technology and out). I particularly find that they are a hundred times more poised, polite and socially related when they do not think I'm anywhere in their vicinity.

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  24. Karen, We set my daughter's privacy settings for just her friends because, of course, she's 10! But yes, technology can be great and horrible at the same time!

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  25. Maureen, I have told my daughter to keep a diary so many times. I've showed her my diaries from when I was a kid, told her how much I love having them. All to no avail. Now I could hit myself. How could I not have known that this generation only wants to keep a diary if the whole world can see it! Stupid me. So, the writer in me is happy that she's recording her thoughts and will have them somewhere and hopefully we'll make a permanent record of it if she ever goes inactive.

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  26. Sherri, It occurred to me that my son's friends were also on Facebook, since they're all 8th graders scattering on their way to high school. I asked one of his friends and she said that everyone's on it but three kids including my son. Typical!

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  27. Love the new look! You wild thing!

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