It wasn't because I'm not a good mom. I'm a good mom. When you take the Exemplary Mom days and the Pathetic Mom days and average them out, I think I come out a solid, average Good.
But here's why I didn't insist on a monetary gift. In our family we have a bunch of our own personal "holidays" that come up in rapid succession early in the year - Husband's birthday in January, our anniversary in February, my birthday in March. If you wiggle that around a little (and, compulsive shopper that I am, I do wiggle it around a little) I manage to loop Chanukah in from December, Valentine's Day in February, and spread it out into Mother's Day in May, which has the affect of leaving Husband not knowing if he's coming or going. It's a nonstop spoiled wife festival, to the point where I practically have him buying me a present for his birthday in January and wondering if perhaps we should start celebrating April Fool's Day, with him the fool.
So this year I let him off the hook for Mother's Day. We celebrated with the one mother we have between us, mine. A present for her.
I'll make do with the one I got for Ground Hog Day.
Do you get spontaneous gifts from your partner or do you feel like you need to hypermanage this issue? Are you a great, spontaneous gift-buyer?
We agreed many years ago to not buy gifts for Mother's/Father's Day or our anniversary. For the former, when our boys were little, we helped them hand-make something for the other parent. For the latter, we figure we have what we want already... not meaning each other (sorry for not being that romantic) but just "stuff." Actually, my birthday is coming up and I can't think of a thing I want. I guess that's a good thing:)
ReplyDeleteNo, I did not get any gifts from my family for Mother's Day. This happened two years ago and I let it upset me, but this year I did not.
ReplyDeleteMy 8.5 year old twins were SO EXCITED for Mother's Day! I let them stay home from Hebrew School so they could whip up a surprise.
When I arrived home, there were beautiful homemade cards, a Dunkin' Donuts cold vanilla bean drink, and two bouquets of flowers. They were bursting at the seams at the surprise they concocted. Truly, that was all that I needed.
I have changed a lot in the past two years since my first "no gift" Mother's Day. The change came because we have been slammed by the recession. I have learned that being home with no frills is just fine, than you very much. I would rather have two pair of everyday shoes than have a closet full if it means returning to full time work.
Stuff does not make me happy...I just have to clean it up! I really do not need anything that my husband can buy me. Things do not make me happy, peace of mind does.
my little one made me a 'hand tulip' in sunday school...she cut out her hands and stuck them on a twisty stem and made me a card. I loved it.
ReplyDeleteKaren, we have a tradition in the family to always use handmade cards for eachother and we've made some very interesting ones over the years! But I have to be honest about the shopping thing (that I'm just in the baby stages of getting over) and how awful I've been. It just struck me how ludicrous it is, having this great husband (and great love) and realizing I don't need a gift to prove that to me. I have to be able to recognize the love.
ReplyDeletemmm, you're so right. When I think of the things I have sitting around this house that could be "new to me" if I just organized it and used it (instead of leaving it in a pile somewhere) I'd probably never need a gift again!
ReplyDeleteChris, my daughter had brought home a gigantic trophy this past weekend for a championship her basketball team won and she made me an "Award for Best Mom" trophy of my own!
ReplyDeleteMy husband is Russian, and wasn't raised with Mother's Day. Plus, he was post-call (he had worked all night), so he was exhausted. I spent all day taking care of the kids and wishing that I could shower. It wasn't exactly the most memorable day. In fact, I'm kind of trying to forget it...
ReplyDeleteNo Mother's day gift for me. At least not of monetary value. My husband, instead, let me sleep all day, cooked, cleaned, and watched the kids. Exactly what I needed.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Book??????? AHEEE!!!!
Usually, my family takes me to brunch at my favorite restaurant- it is a local place and mother's day brunch is a yummy buffet with a drink fountain flowing with mimosas and served out on the patio by the water. I love it! This year, though, since my husband is gone, we didn't do anything. the kids made things for me at school. As for our family, I had the kids fingerpaint pictures and then tell me what they were. I captioned them and then matted and framed them like artwork and sent them to the grands in Texas. It was a HUGE hit!
ReplyDeleteNot having had a partner for the past 10 years, I can't say I've gotten many gifts of any sort. On the other hand, having had a spouse who was oblivious to the feelings of others (not just me), any gift-giving occasion was always a disappointment. In that light, in some ways it's been easier these past years. No expectations and subsequent disappointments.
ReplyDeleteOn the bright side, my kids have been pretty wonderful about making me things and being sweet on special occasions. And frankly - I'll take that kind of gift-giving any day.
This mother's day? Son #1 Skyped from college (the library), and we had a great chat. Son #2 (high school) cooked with and for me (we laughed a lot), and has made some piece of art he has yet to reveal... but I'm looking forward to it.
ALL GOOD. Gifts of the heart.
We have a similar front-loaded holiday season, with our birthdays and anniversary falling in the same 30 days. We've just kind of given up and usually rent a movie we both want to see. I eat chocolate, he eats Twizzlers. Celebration: done. =>
ReplyDeleteMy kids are grown and gone and all three live far away, in different places. Each one called me. It was a great day.
ReplyDeleteRivki, even though it's been awhile, I will never forget the days of longing for a shower while taking care of the kids! I used to bring my son into the bathroom in his bouncy (with his apnea monitor and oxygen - don't ask) and the second I'd get in the shower everything would go off. It's an extreme example, but filthy days, eh!
ReplyDeleteStacia, we really should have spaced this out better when choosing our wedding date, or maybe I should seriously consider that chocolate option!
ReplyDeletelifeintheboomerlane, Hopefully my kids will still be speaking to me when they're grown. Good job on getting phone calls!
ReplyDelete