It also means this: I've never once made a Thanksgiving meal. I'm not happy about this because I kind of like making a big, nightmarish, complicated meal (see Passover blog entries from last spring), but I don't get to. See, I'm not the sister in charge of Thanksgiving. I'm the sister in charge of Hanukkah, so to speak, and since Hanukkah bounces around the calendar, one year at the end of December and the next at the beginning - like this year - I can't do both.
So for Thanksgiving we drive off from our house in whatever direction the party's at - this time it was at sister number seven's new house. I'm assigned a dish to bring, always something suspiciously simple because there seems to be an impression in our family that I can't cook. One small mistake - a charred, inedible brisket - in all these years and my reputation was ruined forever. So this year I was assigned a very traditional Thanksgiving dish, one everyone fantasizes whenever they think about Thanksgiving, right after they think about turkey, stuffing and pecan pie. I was assigned the veggie tray.
We have a veggie tray at our party for a couple reasons. First of all, in a family with seven sisters and many grown nieces and nephews, everyone's always dieting so vegetables are welcome. Second of all, there are so many people coming (just add up for a moment seven sisters, husbands, seventeen nieces and nephews, significant others, and five great-nieces) that we run out of food assignments. Hence, the veggie tray. Maybe it's not just my incompetence or my reputation as a bad cook; maybe it's that: there's nothing left to assign. I take solace in the idea that the pilgrims probably had a lot of vegetables at their first Thanksgiving.
Luckily I didn't screw it up. Maybe I can parlay this success into something more significant next year, like soda pop.
Do you cook Thanksgiving or go somewhere? In your family are you assigned food to bring? Ever get assigned something that didn't quite fit the holiday or something really easy?
I cooked this year. It was a good meal. I made pumpkin bread this year and I really liked it. I think I will do it again next year. You kn ow, you could always spice up the veggie tray by making rose radishes..that'll show em.
ReplyDeleteI cooked also and it was quite scaled down from usual because our numbers were very small. It was nice, but I do love a big noisy crowd.
ReplyDeleteI laughed at your brisket debacle...I've tried briskets a couple of times and they never turned out, leaving me to wonder if one must be Jewish to acquire the successful brisket gene. Guess not! Enjoy the holiday weekend, and I'm looking forward to hearing about the Hanukkah meal:)
I am considered the non-cook or bad cook in our family. So I am usually given things like salad and fruit to bring. And typically I am fine with that, because I am not a great cook and I stress out over bringing other things. When we have had Thanksgiving at my house, I had my mom make and bring the turkey and stuffing:)
ReplyDeleteI also come from a family of seven, headed up by a mother that was a fantastic cook. She passed away five years ago and we are barely limping along around the holidays. My father can barely make a butter sandwich.
ReplyDeleteI have one sister and she is also a great cook, but she moves to Mexico for six months out of the year and is gone during the holiday season. I did not get even a glimpse of the cooking gene, which is why I married Husband. However, NO ONE can replicate Mom's gravy, although god knows we've tried.
The veggie tray is equivalent with "Loser", as is pop, rolls and whipped cream. I have had all of those assignments.
Happy Holidays. Jo
SODA POP!!!! I am still laughing. Do you know how many people would love to get the soda pop or veggie tray assignment???? You are so lucky. That is a gift. Take it with a smile. And remind them every year of the brisket in case they think of EVER assigning you something more challenging. Life is HARD ENOUGH. LMAO.
ReplyDeleteWe did a traditional Thanksgiving for five this year. It went surprisingly well thanks to the fact that a friend, worried that we wouldn't have anything, ordered a fabulous heat and eat meal from our local grocery store and paid for it.
ReplyDeleteI have the most generous friends.
Also, I understand your situation. I am still hearing about the exploded kischke from 1994.
I did it once. I was sixteen years old and I insisted on cooking the turkey and all the trimmings for my family. It wasn't about the love of cooking (I'm still not a fan...and I'm a registered dietitian...there's nothing about food I love other than other people preparing it.). No, my insistence on making Thanksgiving meal had more to do with grit. I can do it. And I did. But let me tell you that was thirty one year ago and I haven't done it since.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you need an intervention...maybe you need to get it out of your system. Go for it...it could cure the nostalgia. If not, I say bring on the veggie tray and the soda pop.
that is hilarious! I agree with Robin- be thankful. When Noah was in preschool, they let the kids pick what they wanted their parents to bring for the class feast. He picked homemade mac and cheese- and I was all proud. That is, until I had to make it and have it ready to bring to his classroom by 10:45 am!! So, when I got Zoe's assignment this year and saw that she said, "apples" I was ecstatic.
ReplyDeleteThis is the first year in 12 or more (best I can recall)that I didn't cook the whole shebang. Instead, it was two desserts and candied yams (is there a sugar theme going here?) - which felt like a very light load indeed.
ReplyDeleteIt was quite nice to go elsewhere and eat someone else's stuff(ing). But there was no veggie plate. Damn. I coulda woulda shoulda brought some carrot sticks and black olives.
The real question - can you make latkes?
I do not get assigned a dish but typically bring something anyway. Our numbers have dwindled in the past few years as many members of our family have moved out of state, but I loved it when all of us lived i ntown and would congregate to finish preparing our meal!
ReplyDeleteHope you had a wonderful time gathering with your family and enjoying each other's company and dishes!
Chris, honestly, Passover puts me out of commission for so long, I shouldn't WANT another meal to prepare, but I always hear about these great turkey leftovers, making turkey sandwiches for days, and, around here? Nothing! Love the idea of fancying up the veggies!
ReplyDeleteLeslie, I'm with you. I like a big, loud crowd in my house. Anything less and it feels very empty for a party. And, I hate to disappoint you since you're waiting for a true Hannukah cooking disaster, but we're picking up corned beef and pastrami! Somehow that's our traditional Hannukah food. Oy.
ReplyDeleteOh, and by the way, my brisket recipe is so simple it's almost unimaginable that I ruined it. Like a cup of water, a cup of ketchup, a packet of Lipton's Onion soup mix, a cup of brown sugar, all mixed together and poured over the fatty side up brisket and covered with tin foil. I think I must've set the oven too high. Ho hum.
Karen, I love the idea of assigning the main dish to someone else! Genious! My mother, as she's gotten older, has slowly been reducing her involvement in the whole cooking and hosting thing. Now she doesn't have parties and Thanksgiving I believe was the first time she wasn't assigned anything! At least she got there!
ReplyDeleteJo, you're cruel but honest. I can take it. I am a loser cook! And how sad about your mom and the holidays limping along without her. I'm sure where ever she is, she is not thrilled about this circumstance. :)
ReplyDeleteRobin, leave it up to you to get to the heart of the matter. I read your comment and I thought, "Heck, what am I complaining about? Am I nuts?" You're absolutely right! I'm just going to lay low from here on out and play stupid. Like if they try to move me up to something more complicated, I'll burn it or something, right?
ReplyDeleteLisa, I had this kischke fantasy, obviously left over from my childhood. So I actually bought some FAT from a grocery store butcher and made it. Surprisingly enough, my family refused to eat it and I, the now ten-year Weight Watcher Points counter, didn't quite know how to count it. Hmmm - pure fat. How many points is that? Next time - vegetarian kischke!
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful for you to have such a considerate friend.
Michelle, I'm impressed by your bravado at 16! That's about the age I was teaching myself to make potato pancakes and then fasting on milkshakes to lose the weight I gained from eating all of them! As you can see, no dietician here!
ReplyDeleteEven if I got a turkey, my husband would never put me in charge of it. Too much meat, too little patience. :(
Jennifer, my ex-husband used to sign me up for all sorts of nutty things at his workplace (or sign himself up for them and then I had to make them!) I think that experience is what ruined me for cooking for all time. But just that memory of having someone come home and say "You have to bring the Pineapple Upside Down Cake" and the panicky feeling. I remember that! Apples are a good assignment!
ReplyDeleteBLW, last year I swear our Thanksgiving was just a dessert potluck! The meal was just a formality to get through before you could get to the 20 or so desserts! Of course, I don't eat desserts so it was a little crazy-making for me...
ReplyDeleteAnd, yes I make and eat latkes, though the dieters version (BORING!) Because my body secretly wants to weigh 400 pounds I have to weigh my potatoes and cook the latkes in Pam. My kids would like them double deep-fried but that's not happening in my kitchen. Someone else will bring real, fattening latkes to the Hannukah party so they'll have fun (and I won't have any!)
Maria, I also like a big crowd and certainly understand why people travel to spend this holiday with family! We were missing one sister who likes to make the holiday smaller but it was still great. Actually, with 7 sisters, you can actually be down a couple and still have quite a crowd!
ReplyDeleteThat is our family-so funny! I was assigned soda pop this year so what does that mean? Either I am a step ahead of you because I have never burnt a family assigned dish or they are so fearful of my purchasing and cooking that I can only choose something pre-packaged that I cannot mess up. Either way let them think that because soda pop is easy and I like easy. I think everyone fears what the grand-daughter/neice will bring however I am 32 years old and have a family. They are all alive and David is not the only cook so obviously I am doing something right:)
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