Sunday, June 5, 2011

To Sleep or Not To Sleep

One thing about giving birth to Bar Mitzvahzilla - besides him being born a pound and a half, besides the whole prematurity thing, besides the coming home with an apnea monitor and an oxygen tank - he was never one of those kids who would fall asleep in the car.

We had to go a lot of places when he first came home from the hospital. Four times a week back to the pediatrician to monitor his weight gain and recovery from recent hernia surgery; a cardiac surgeon; an ophthalmologist; other specialists. And they were all very far from my house, like near the hospital where Bar Mitzvahzilla had been born. Could he have fallen asleep one time?

Instead I'd be driving along the interminable mountain passes of Phoenix on a thirty-minute ride downtown with a squalling by then four-pound baby sunk into a rear-facing car seat facing away from me in my car. Do you know how this drove me nuts? Can you imagine how many times I had to stop to make sure he wasn't strangling on something in the sunken tunnel of his car seat? Because he couldn't really fill the thing up.

Now Bar Mitzvahzilla is nearly sixteen. A big clunk, really, and thank goodness for it considering his beginning. I pick him up at school and he is irritable. Everyday. I guess he doesn't remember those heartbreaking scenes from next to his incubator. Finally, we descend into silence after he realizes that, whether he likes it or not, one particular day I'm bringing him to our store to work. Then it gets too quiet. He's sleeping.

A kid who could never even close his eyes as a tiny newborn now finds that the motion of the car lulls him tranquilly to sleep, in bright daylight and at nearly sixteen-years-old.

I shake my head at the contradictions of parenthood, happy for the silence from my teenager, wondering if every time he fights with me I could just somehow trick him into the car and make him falls asleep. Then I drive on, towards our store.

Did you have a kid who fell asleep in cars or stayed alarmingly awake? Any annoying sleep tales of teenagers?

Linda
Author of Looking Up: A Memoir of Sisters, Survivors and Skokie
Available on Amazon, Kindle, B&N, and other retailers

18 comments:

  1. ALARMINGLY
    ALARMINGLY
    WIDE
    WIDE
    AWAKE.
    alarmingly :)

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  2. Neither of the girls were car sleepers. They HATED the car. And I hated having them with me in the car, so I guess we were even.

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  3. Ha! You want annoying teenage tales? Most have to do with sleeping anywhere (except in bed, late at night) - including chronic lateness. Then there are the endless sullen spells, punctuated by talkativeness when there are cute girls in the vicinity, followed by more silent treatment until food is placed somewhere within sniffing range.

    Funny how that seems to perk up the ability to articulate. Or at least, grunt.

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  4. My teen stays up late and then, not surprisingly sleeps until the afternoon! I am the one who has trouble staying awake in the car on road trips!

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  5. my oldest had colic as a baby and the only thing that would get her to sleep when she got like that, was to get in the car and go for a drive. My youngest, put her in the car and you got a vomit fest. She got carsick all the way cross country on our first big move after her birth. lol. Every child is different.

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  6. Kids are funny creatures. My friend's kid falls sleep in the car, but that's normally when she (the kid)has been out or very busy and is already tired.

    sorry about your child having to grow through all of that as a newborn.... and sorry to you, too. I know the stress involved as a family member had a premature baby and all the complications was just terrible.

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  7. Noah was a cranky child that never slept! I used to sing to him in the car and it just made him cry louder until one day, I started singing The Ants Go Marching and he quit crying. I don't know what it was about that song, but I spent many a car ride with my arm craned to the backseat, stroking his head and singing that song. He never fell asleep, though and as soon as I quit singing, he would cry again. On long trips, my voice would be hoarse by the time we got there. So, I guess I can look forward to him sleeping in the car in the teen years?

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  8. While your experience with your son was much more harrowing, my son (who is eight now) was a ball of energy from the moment he woke until he went to sleep. Naps became a thing of a past when he was about three. He never slept in the car. When he was between six months and a year, I took him to Stroller Strides, a mommy and me class with a stroller and a fitness band. When we stopped to sing adorable songs to our babies, Jack would fidget and fuss to get out of the stroller. Okay I'm stopping now or I'll have trouble sleeping tonight.

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  9. MizFit, I wonder if we're in the same time zone? Hmmm. Because lately I look at my computer clock and I think, "Oh. It's only 1:00 AM!" and I leave my office after 2 in the morning! It wouldn't be so crazy but, like you I'm sure, I'm up the next morning for my exercise! Ack!

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  10. TKW, On the other hand, I didn't have to do any of that going-out-for-a-midnight-ride-with-a-squalling-baby thing since nothing was going to help! And sometimes now it is nice having him stop his interminable teenage rant and fall asleep!

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  11. BLW, I am so stupid! I keep forgetting the FOOD! He's always grumpy because he's always hungry. I'm got to put up a sign in my car or something. I keep thinking he's grumpy because he was put on the earth to torment me...

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  12. Karen, when my son's not scheduled for something in the morning, it has become a little awe-inspiring how late he can sleep! And lucky you for being able to fall asleep on road trips. I have this weird thing, that I have to watch my husband drive, like by doing so we don't get in an accident! Annoying, I know!

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  13. Christine, I love that you probably thought the car would be a good solution for the 2nd but found out quickly it wasn't (when she threw up...) Funny, but I bet not so much when it happened! My daughter was such a good baby that we used to put a hand on her chest to make sure she was still alive. She was as good as Bar Mitzvahzilla was bad!

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  14. Gabrielle, thank you for your kind words. It was very, very stressful, even though the doctors kept assuring us that he'd come home. It was hard to believe it with all he went through. Luckily he came out with no permanent physical medical problems, so we were lucky in that!

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  15. Jennifer, I wish I had thought of that song! You should have seen me standing next to his incubator singing my selection: "Sunrise, Sunset." Of course, the entire staff fell in love with us and signed up to be on my son's medical team!

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  16. Michelle, that was only covering the infant period! I can relate to that ball of energy. We always wanted to keep him locked up nice and secure in his stroller, especially when we were on vacation and walking around strange city streets. But from the minute he could walk it was, "I WALK!" everywhere. That was me, chasing a loose toddler through the streets of San Diego in 1997...

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  17. My middle son will fall asleep during the 15 minute car ride afterschool to his brother's preschool. Every single day. But he can't fall asleep in his own bed every night. Go figure

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  18. My sons, both are easily fall to sleep in car and their stroller. But it will be difficult if we ask them to sleep in their bed :)

    Please visit to my blog and I would be more than happier if you are willing to share your thought there :)

    Yulia
    www.mylifeismyrainbow.wordpress.com

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